Friday, August 24, 2007

Maddening Men and Wild Women

A report from Atlanta shows how even well known ministers can get caught up in the pain of a relationship and end up in a physical conflict. As I explained in my call at the Committed Couples' Workshop at Love and Faith Fellowship last June, when males are over stimulated and angry they tend to with draw from the relationship like a "stone wall". This drives the woman Wild and she tends to pursue him demanding more discussion. This leads to an explosion of emotions.

ATLANTA (FOX 5) -- Atlanta police said Wednesday that well-known television minister, Juanita Bynum, became the victim of domestic abuse after her husband savagely beat her in a hotel parking lot Tuesday night. A relative of Reverend Bynum told FOX 5 News that the Reverend Bynum and her husband, Bishop Thomas Weeks, are in the middle of a separation.

The relative said the two agreed to meet Tuesday night in the dining room of the Renaissance Hotel near Hartsfield-Jackson airport.

The meeting reportedly did not go well and ended with Bishop Weeks leaving abruptly.

The relative said Reverend Bynum followed him to the parking lot where the two exchanged words.
According to an Atlanta Police Department report, that's when Weeks allegedly attacked her। In a statement to police, Reverend Bynum said her husband, Thomas Weeks, "choked her, pushed her down, kicked her and stomped her in the Renaissance parking lot।"

Here is the dangerous scenario. The husband is angry and withdraws to cool down.

The wife is rejected and follows him, demanding that he talk more.

His anger turns into rage and he attacks her.

This type of interaction is repeated thousands of times each day. Here is how we can break the cycle of conflict. When you get mad and emotionally flooded, call a time out. Both must recognize that more talk is impossible. Cool down. Agree before hand to separate until you are calm.

Write for my Cycle of Conflict Management Chart.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Marital Conflict and Iraqi Missiles

Study Shows Decreased Coronary Blood Flow in Some Heart Patients
By Salynn BoylesWebMD Medical News

Reviewed By Louise Chang, MDon Tuesday, March 07, 2006
March 7, 2006 - Mental stress has long been suspected of playing an important role in heart disease, and now new research suggests that this might be true for some patients more than others.

Researchers from the University of Florida found that about a third of the patients with known coronary artery disease in their study experienced decreased coronary blood flow while they were under mental duress, even though they performed well on treadmill stress tests or chemical cardiac stress tests. The coronary arteries supply oxygen-rich blood to the heart muscle itself.

Decreased blood flow to heart muscle -- known medically as cardiac ischemia -- deprives heart muscle of oxygen, which can be a warning for a future heart attack. Ischemia may or may not cause a person to feel chest pain. Physical and chemical stress tests are used to check for ischemia.

Several previous studies by the University of Florida research team indicate that mental stresses are among the most important risk factors for death in heart patients. In one study, the researchers found that for some heart patients, mental stress is as dangerous as smoking cigarettes or having high cholesterol.

"We believe the phenomenon of mental-stress-induced reductions in blood flow to the heart is much more common than has been previously recognized," says researcher David S. Sheps, MD, MSPH.

Measuring Mental Stress

Fourteen men and seven women with coronary artery disease were included in the study, and all of them had a recent negative stress test result, meaning that they showed no evidence of decreased blood flow during a treadmill or chemical stress test. "These would be the people who would generally be believed to have a good prognosis," Sheps tells WebMD.

But when the patients participated in a test designed to measure mental stress, six of the 21 (29%) showed evidence of decreased blood flow. None experienced chest pain during the mental stress test.

All 21 people included in this study had known coronary artery disease, with exercise or chemical stress tests within six months prior that showed no evidence of ischemia. Participants were asked to imagine a stressful situation that was unique to their lives. They were then given two minutes to prepare to deliver a four-minute speech about the situation. Blood pressure was measured and electrocardiograms taken every minute during the speech and for 10 minutes afterward. Heart imaging scans were also performed to check for ischemia.

"The results tend to support [the idea] that mental stress works through a different mechanism than physical stress," Sheps says.

But he is quick to point out that the study says little about the clinical implications of mental-stress-related reductions in blood flow to the heart. The patients in the study, as well as 300 others particip ating in a similarly designed study, will continue to be followed in hopes of answering this question.

The researchers are also conducting a study to determine if efforts to reduce mental stress have an impact on cardiovascular outcomes.

The study was funded by the National Institutes of Health and the drug company Bristol-Myers Squibb and was reported in the March issue of the Journal of the American College of Cardiology.

Impact of Wars and Disasters

Mental stress is not officially recognized as a contributing factor in heart disease by many health groups, including the American Heart Association.

While acknowledging that "managing stress makes sense for a person's overall health," it is the AHA's position, a spokeswoman tells WebMD, that there is not yet enough clinical evidence to recommend the use of stress management for the treatment of cardiovascular disease.

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence linking mental stress to heart attacks and sudden death from cardiovascular causes, however, including reports of dramatic rises in such deaths after disasters like Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, and the bombing of Israel during the first Gulf War.

Six months after Hurricane Katrina, it is apparent that many victims died not from the hurricane, but from physical causes brought on by the stresses associated with it.
According to Louis Cataldie, MD, who is acting state medical examiner for Louisiana, a disproportionate number of the roughly 1,300 confirmed Katrina deaths occurred among older people, and most victims did not drown.

In an interview with WebMD, Cataldie confirmed previous news reports that nearly 40% of the victims were over the age of 70. Almost 200 of the victims were evacuees who died outside the state within about a month of the hurricane.

Although the exact cause of death for many Katrina victims will never be known, Cataldie says mental stresses probably played a role in many deaths. "That certainly seems to be the case," he says.

In a 1991 study, researchers in Israel reported a sharp rise in heart attacks and sudden deaths in Tel Aviv during the Iraqi missile attacks of the first Gulf War. They noted that the increase lasted only a few days, after which time the incidence of heart attacks and deaths returned to normal.

SOURCES: Ramachandruni, S., Journal of the American College of Cardiology, March 2006; vol 47: pp 987-991. David S. Sheps, MD, MSPH, professor, associate chairman of cardiovascular medicine, University of Florida College of Medicine and Malcolm Randall Veterans Affairs Medical Center, Gainesville, Fla. Louis Cataldie, MD, Louisiana State Department of Health.
© 2006 WebMD Inc. All rights reserved

Friday, August 3, 2007

Adverse Childhood Events and Adult Diseases

Many parents engage in behavior that is harmful to them but they refuse to change because they rebel at the idea that anybody should tell them to do anything. Even positive ideas about their own health turn them off. However, parents will often change their behavior if they are convinced that it is harmful to the Long term welfare of their children.

A few years ago medical researchers in California were trying to figure out why so many of their most successful weight loss clients were dropping out of the programs they entered to lose weight in the first place. Because they had a host of data about the clients' childhood they noted a remarkable correlation between Adverse Childhood Events and Adult obesity. Upon further research they saw an even more striking set of correlations between ACE and Adult Diseases of all sorts.

Perhaps most striking was the stair step correlations between the number of Adverse Childhood Events and the associated Adult Diseases. For example, if a child grew up without a parent in the home due to divorce, crime, death or prison time the child was likely to experience an adult disease. However, if there was alcoholism, drugs, jail time and divorce making the count be four of five Adverse Events the child would be more likely to experience several Adult diseases.

If you want to insure that your child has a healthy future be sure to stay married, stay sober and stay out of jail.

Thursday, August 2, 2007


Time Magazine has a great article on raising boys to men. Here is a small part of it.

If The Dangerous Book were a place, it would look like the Falling Creek Camp for Boys in North Carolina--a rustic paradise complete with a rifle range, nearby mountains to climb and a lake complete with swimming dock and rope swing. The choice of activities at the camp is dizzying, from soccer to blacksmithing, from kayaking to watercolors, but no pastime is more popular than building forts of fallen tree limbs and poking at turtles in the creek. Leave your cell phones, laptops and iPods at home.

There I met Margaret Anderson, a pediatric nurse from Nashville and a member of the faculty at Vanderbilt University. She works in the infirmary while her 11-year-old son Gage discovers the woods on multi-day pack trips. "I call this place Boy Heaven," she says.

Falling Creek subscribes to a philosophy of "structured freedom," which is essentially the same philosophy paying dividends among boys at the opposite end of the economic ladder at the Frederick Douglass Academy. It works across the board, says Anderson, and she wishes more of the boys she sees in her busy Nashville practice lived lives of structured freedom too.

"Whether it's urban kids who can't go outside because it's too dangerous or the overscheduled, over parented kids at the other end of the spectrum--I'm worried that boys have lost the chance to play and to explore," Anderson told me. Our society takes a dim view of idle time and casts a skeptical eye on free play--play driven by a boy's curiosity rather than the league schedule or the folks at Nintendo. But listen to Anderson as she lists the virtues of letting boys run themselves occasionally.

"When no one's looming over them, they begin making choices of their own," she says. "They discover consequences and learn to take responsibility for themselves and their emotions. They start learning self-discipline, self-confidence, team building. If we don't let kids work through their own problems, we get a generation of whiners."

That made sense to me. As I watched the boys at Falling Creek do things that would scare me to death if my own son were doing them--hammering white-hot pieces of metal, clinging to a zip line two stories above a lake, examining native rattlesnakes--I didn't notice many whining boys. Yates Pharr, director of Falling Creek, seemed to read my mind. "It's the parents who have the anxieties nowadays, far more than the boys," he said. "We've started posting photographs of each day's activity on our website, and still I'll get complaints if we don't have a picture of every camper every day."

Worrying about our boys--reading and writing books about them, wringing our hands over dire trends and especially taking more time to parent them--is paying off. The next step is to let them really blossom, and for that we have to trust them, give them room. The time for fearing our sons, or fearing for their futures, is behind us. The challenge now is to believe in them. [This article contains charts. Please see hardcopy or pdf.]

Find this article at,9171,1647452,00.html