Friday, February 5, 2010

Sex and Marriage

I have been a Counselor for many years. there is no more powerful force in marriage and all male female relationships than sex. When sex and romance are confined to marriage it is powerfully good but sex outside marriage is powerfully bad. I wrote on this issue on Brave Heart so you can read my ideas there as well.

Many of my long term couple clients discover deep divisions between them because they had sex before marriage and the wound has never healed. Even if they were not Christians or very moral at the time, sex before marriage is a powerful, long lasting fact.

Jesus taught about building our foundation on rock or sand. Only the house build on rock will sustain the storms of life and believe me marriage must face a lot of storming. Marriages of people who have sex before marriage are less stable and less long lasting than those where people waited to "do it".

Even more threatening to me as a therapist are the unleashing of unbridled passions and sexual desires today. I recently head that the rate of Sexually Transmitted Disease is the highest in this nation in the Villages Retirement City in Florida. Old men and women are hooking up and sharing disease as well as emotional bonding in record numbers.

Young people seem to share sexual organs today like we did baseball cards in our youth. The long term results will be dramatically different for them and their offspring. Just think of the price even such a star as Tiger Woods must pay for hooking up. His kids will very likely grow up in a severely dysfunctional family with shame as a family heritage.

Tiger did not count the cost of there one night stands.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Woman of Character

When Jenny Sanford, former wife of Governor Mark Sanford, sat down to tell her children about their father's sordid affair, guess what the eldest said. This is story of great wisdom, character and maturity in a wife and of narcissism, immaturity and ego from her husband.

Mark Sanford had all the outward appearances of a Christian man. He talked the walk and led Bible studies for high end couples. He took oaths about being pure and holy but he obviously had a shallow inner life in the Holy Spirit.

Jenny Sanford writes a compelling book about her side of things and it seems to be well done. We need more leaders like her and less like her husband.

The New York Time review of Jenny Sanford's book is wonderful. I want to read the book as well.