Change in Focus

Mary and Joseph, an early couple in ministry together

We have changed the focus of this blog to emphasize the lives of Wives and Husbands in Ministry together. I have asked some couples to write me about the insights, struggles and joys of ministry in a church, para-church or mission agency.

Most of the writers will be Women who are married to Ministers, but some are Ordained. We will keep their identities private so their past and present organizations are not embarrassed.

I hope we can get honest, behind the scenes information about the ways couples handle their private and public lives when they must live in "Glass Houses".

I joined the staff of a very large mega-church in Cincinnati after being in business, school teaching and university administration. Karen and I had two children ages five and two when we left the University to enter the nether world of "Clergy Life". The cultural, social, spiritual and relational changes were like moving to Mars.

I am thankful that out church leaders did not expect my wife to be a free but visible member of the staff who would play the piano, teach Sunday school and attend every service. We grew up in rural churches where all those things were silent but strongly expected values and expectations.

But, make no mistake, despite the grace of our Elders, being in the Professional Ministry is living in the public eye. Our kids were known to everybody and some of the parishioners had unrealistic ideas about how perfect we and they should be as "Spiritual role models".

I am an extrovert with an enormous capacity for public interaction. Karen is a quiet, Introverted woman who loves being alone or with a few friends. We are very different and have very different gifts to boot.

Misunderstandings and confusions are common among the church members and that often results in pain for the family members. Some Elders and Lay Leaders have unrealistic expectations from the Ministry Family/Couple and place enormous pressure on the Pastor to get his wife and family "on board".

We hope you will write your comments and let us know what you think. If you are a Couple in Ministry, you may be interested in blogging with us. Send me a sample of your ideas at gsweeten@cinci.rr.com

Rev. Gary Sweeten, Ed.D.