Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Marriage and Conflict
Conflict is normal
Misery is optional
Why, then, do we so often allow conflict to become miserable in our marriage and family life?
Dr. John Gottman has done research with hundreds of couples. He hooks them up to heart and brain wave monitors and asks them to plan some simple activity. In a few minutes Dr. Gottman can see if the couple is likely to divorce or stay married.
How does he do that? Do they threaten divorce or indicate a low interest in the marriage?
Nope! They do not know how to handle even simple differences.
In making a decision about the time to leave for a meeting they will attack each other and develop an attitude. If the couple tends to attack rather than attend, the marriage will probably not last.
How about you? Can you disagree while being agreeable? If not you may end up in court.
Or, do you find yourself Defending Yourself and Offending your Spouse?
Why make yourself and the person you love miserable?