Slavery Isn't to Blame for Single Parents

Marriage is not easy. It takes a lot of work to keep a marriage going and even more to keep it open, fun and functional.

The payoffs, however, are many and all positive. Divorce and single parenting are devastating to the offspring, the single parent and the community. Married people are happier, live longer and produce more positive and creative outcomes for society.

All groups are experiencing divorce and conflict in marriages but Black Families are really under pressure to split up or never get married in the first place. In fact, the situation has gotten so bad that there were a higher percent of married couples during slavery than today. That is a stunner! Take a look at this data.

Marriage Portrait• In 1963, when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. declared, “I have a dream,” more than 70% of black families were headed by married
couples. Today, 40 years after the Civil Rights Act of 1964, married couples head only 46% of black families.

• More alarming, 45% of black men have never married and 42% of black women have never married.
• Married black women declined from 62% to 31% between 1950 and 2002.
• By age 30, only 52% of black women will marry compared to 81% of white women, 77% of Hispanics and Asians.

• Only 6% of black men and 2% of black women marry Whites.
• In 1970, just 33% of black women, age 20-29 were unmarried. By 1992, that number exploded to 70%.

“Black men and women are less likely to be married and more likely to divorce when we do marry.” -The Black Commentator, Margaret Kimberley. Black Families - A Glass Half Empty and Half Full, April 23, 2004

Every church in America needs to urgently promote healthy marriages. But Black Churches must act today! We are losing Black kids and that is tragic.

Father's Day is Here

What a joy to have my kids and grand kids by my side on Fathers' Day. I love seeing my son Tim play with Jack, his two year old Jack-Out-Of-The-Box, and act like a fool as they rough house and bounce around all over the place with Jack squealing and Tim laughing.

Tim is a man of 37 who I thought would never settle down as an executive or father. He was the poster child for hyped up kids everywhere and should there have been an advertisement for ADHD medicines back in the day he could have given a great testimonial. But he did not want no stinkin meds because, as he told me, "I only feel really alive when I am buzzing".

Now Tim is a consultant with doctors and medical clinics who has learned to use ADHD as an inner stimulant to keep him sharp. I admire his insights and ability to bring relational skills and Six Sigma into the workplace. But most of all I admire Tim for loving his son. The delight Tim shows when he and Jack are interacting is wonderful. Tim is fully present when he is present. Nothing could be better than that.

By the way, I have found a great blog on parenting.

www.tonywoodlief.com