June 2 and June 9 saw a bunch of us gather at Love and Faith Christian Center and go over some of the key dimensions of developing Committed Couples. We had a great time and it appears that we will get to do at least two more before October 1 when the 2007 Federal Grant runs out.
We will follow up with all the participants and send each of you a DVD of the teachings. In retrospect, I wish we had also taped the discussions when so many of our students had great questions.
I have the following ideas about how to raise up more good people to lead you church's ministries in marriage and family life.
1. Start small and grow slowly. Do not bite off too much for you to chew. Work with a few people and see them grow. Testimonies are the best advertisements.
2. Start with couples who are not in a crisis. Build up the stable marriages and help them stay stable and get stronger. You who attended our training will remember that I have Seven levels of need for training and support by church leaders.
a. Prevention: Teach people how to prevent serious problems and deal with various crises.
b. Personal Growth: Give people who are presently doing well the skills to do better. One of the ideas that came out of the YMCA research I have on my web site is the notion that people need to be affirmed for doing well. (See www.garysweeten.com )
c. Peer Support: People talk about their issues, problems and needs to family and friends so the church can provide many people to be positive peers to people in need.
d. Para-Professional Helpers: These are folks who have bee trained to be Mentors, Coaches, Teachers, Helpers and Group Leaders the groups above. They are Para-Professional in that they work along side the Professionals as Lay Volunteers. Refer all seriously disturbed couples to the people below.
e. Professional Helpers; New credentialed Counselors and Social Workers.
f. Professional Clinical Helpers: Independent Licensed Counselors, Social Workers, Psychiatrists and Psychologists.
g. Professional Experts: Advanced in Marriage and Family Therapy
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2 comments:
I agree with your comments here, Gary,particularily on start with couples that are problem free. Well,relatively problem free, and refer problems of certain natures to people who have been trained to handle certain natures. Too many I have attempted to coax people out of their problems when I had no business attempting such. Though I am better trained to handle problems now than 20 years ago. I am much better at not even attempting to "bail people out of jail" until they are ready. All too often we (wife and I) have rushed in and smothered people with ideas, cures, preventions, and the right answers only to find ourselves rejected by the one we are rescuing.
Yes, trying to change a person against their will is usually futile. It saves time, energy and a lot of frustration to learn when to intervene and when to let people suffer alone.
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